When I was young (under 10 I think) a little voice told me I wanted to be a writer. But there was another more insistent voice which told me I was crap and had no talent. So I took a different career path instead:
- Trainee Store Manager
- Promotions Manager
- Software Trainer
- Fitness Instructor
- Personal Trainer
- Health Writer
- Now I do a mixture of things – proofreading, admin, copywriting, personal training
I ended up writing, just not in the way I intended.
Last year the voice came back. This time it told me do a Cognitive Hypnotherapy Diploma. I thought it was mad. I had looked into this a few years earlier and concluded that it wasn’t for me (my life was so full of stress; I didn’t think I could cope with anyone else’s).
But this time I listened to the voice. I hadn’t heard it for years. I figured if it was making an appearance, it must be for a reason. So I trusted it knew what it was doing, took a deep breath, and signed up for the course last October.
I’m so glad I did. It turns out the voice knew things I could never have anticipated. As I studied and practised hypnotherapy, miraculous, unthinkable things started happening:
- I created my first blog (something I was previously too scared to do)
- I started working on my children’s book ideas (it’s hard to put into words what this means to me – if you’re a fellow aspiring author who has been ‘stuck’ for most of your life, you’ll know this is immense)
- I sent my finished manuscripts to a publisher (again, I never thought I would get to this point – sending a book to a publisher was something other people did, not me)
Blown away (and slightly shocked) by these results, my blog quickly morphed from writing about my hypnotherapy diploma to writing about writing. Which I love. Except the bottom line is, now I need to earn some money. And unless I am J.K. Rowling incarnate (which I’m not) it’s unlikely I’ll earn enough money to live off purely from writing children’s books. Most authors have to have other jobs alongside their writing.
So what’s my ‘other job’ going to be?
When I started the diploma I wasn’t sure I could see myself doing hypnotherapy as a career. I thought it was probably more for my own personal development and if ‘all’ I got from the course was a creative unblocking, that was good enough for me. But now the voice has come back again. And it’s saying weird things, like; Keep going…you’re on the right path…there’s a reason for all of this…it’s not just about the writing.
I honestly have no idea what it’s on about. Though I can hear faint whispers sometimes…Something about helping other writers, artists, singers, songwriters, musicians…Something about helping other people become who deep down they are truly meant to be. But there’s another voice there too. A familiar one…Can I really do this? Am I allowed? Is this OK?
I’ve got that slightly queasy feeling again. The same one I used to get when thinking about my children’s books. Which just tells me there’s some work to do on this. This doesn’t have to be a ‘STOP’ sign.
In 2 weeks time I have to hand in my diploma – 40 questions, 4 essays, a treatment plan and a case study. 21,000 words in all. To say I am snowed under right now trying to get this all done would be something of an understatement. Hence the googly-eyed post yesterday.
On July 15th I will catch the train up to London for the very last time to graduate from my course. I will be a fully fledged, fully qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist.
Then what? What happens next?
I’m hoping my voice might have a few words to say on this subject.