Writing a Book (Part 2): Have a Meltdown

I love this creative process diagram. It so aptly describes how many of the deadlines in my life have been met (in a state of panic and utter ‘fuck-off-ed-ness’).

But not this book for some reason.

Despite working 11-hour days, I have stayed remarkably calm. Apart from one rather large blip which happened last week…

The Commissioning Editor said she wanted to email me an ‘Author Questionnaire’ which would help give the sales department some background information.

OK, no problem.

I received said email and scanned it quickly. On the third page, my eyes stopped abruptly at the following line:

‘Do you mind being interviewed on radio or TV?’

At this point, there is something you need to know: I have spent my life living in fear of having to speak in meetings, give presentations, pose for photos, and generally be the centre of attention of just about anything.

As you can imagine, the words ‘TV’ and ‘radio’ didn’t go down too well. All of a sudden I was swamped with horrific visions of me stammering on national TV, sweating my way through a public speech, and receiving shit reviews on Amazon… (‘Amazon isn’t TV or radio!’, I hear you cry. No, but it’s public. It’s in the spotlight. And that’s what counts.)

Of course, the truth is, most books are published and no one bats an eyelid. The chances of being asked to go on radio or TV are  minuscule. But my brain wasn’t interested in rational thought. For one evening, it had a meltdown. The serenity and positivity that had kept me on an even keel for the last few weeks disappeared, and years of self-doubt came thrashing to the surface.

It wasn’t pretty.

But it only lasted one evening. By the morning, I had experienced a dramatic turnaround – due to the fact that I decided to adopt an amazingly mature strategy, called ‘sticking my head in the sand’.

I pretended the previous evening had never happened and that particular Author Question simply didn’t exist.

Henceforth, it is banished from my mind.

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A quick word about my previous post – THANK YOU to everyone who emailed me with their sugar answers. I know it’s hard to find the time to read a blog, let alone comment or answer questions, so I really appreciate it. I have been told my deadline can be extended by a few days, so if anyone else would like to contribute, there’s still time…